A couple of good ones this week — “Resident Evil: Extinction” should make the horror and action fans happy, if the trailers are any indication. I wouldn’t expect a whole lot of horror, as the RE franchise has never been exactly known for its spookiness; it’s more like an action franchise with zombies. Meanwhile, Brad Pitt’s “The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward John Ford” (I still can’t believe they didn’t shorten that title, wow; I don’t know if that’s brave on their part or just stupidity) finally hits theaters in selected theaters, which means most people probably won’t see it. Unless the studio plans on releasing the film wide after its initial selected run, you have to wonder why only limited theaters. The film itself could turn out really, really good, or really, really bad. I can’t see it coming in somewhere in the middle. And oh yeah, Jessica Alba flashes panties in “Good Luck Chuck” and Amanda Bynes does a movie or something.
Good Luck Chuck: A man breaks up with his long-time girlfriend only to see her get engaged to the next guy she dates. The same pattern occurs with his next girlfriend, and continues to repeat. All of a sudden he finds himself becoming a lucky charm for women, who all want to date him.
Starring: Jessica Alba, Dane Cook, Dan Fogler, Michelle Harrison, Ellia English
Directed by: Mark Helfrich
Resident Evil: Extinction: Alice, now in hiding in the Nevada desert, once again joins forces with Carlos Olivera and L.J., along with new survivors Claire, K-Mart and Nurse Betty to try to eliminate the deadly virus that threatens to make every human being undead…and to seek justice. Since being captured by the Umbrella Corporation, Alice has been subjected to biogenic experimentation and becomes genetically altered, with super-human strengths, senses and dexterity. These skills, and more, will be needed if anyone is to remain alive.
Starring: Milla Jovovich, Oded Fehr, Mike Epps, Iain Glen, Ali Larter
Directed by: Russell Mulcahy
The Assasination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford: An action western surrounding the private life and public exploits of America’s most notorious outlaw, Jesse James. As the charismatic and unpredictable outlaw plans his next great robbery, he wages war on his enemies, who are trying to collect the reward money–and the glory–that is riding on his capture. However, the greatest threat to Jesse’s life may ultimately come from those he trusts the most.
Starring: Brad Pitt, Casey Affleck, Sam Shepard, Mary-Louise Parker, Jeremy Renner
Directed by: Andrew Dominik
Sydney White: Gorgeous freshman Sydney White has come to Southern Atlantic University to pledge her late mom’s once-dignified sorority. But while surviving the pledging process wrought by evil campus witch Rachel, Syd finds out this version of sisterhood isn’t remotely what it’s cracked up to be. Banished to a condemned house on Greek Row, Syd finds her rightful place with a band of seven very socially challenged guys. With the help of one lovestruck frat boy named Tyler, she and the doofs campaign to take over student government. Fighting for the rights of misfits big and small, Syd organizes her gang to revolutionize the system, once and for all.
Starring: Amanda Bynes, Matthew Long, Sara Paxton, Jeremy Howard, Crystal Hunt
Directed by: Joe Nussbaum