Your Weekend Movie Preview: War, September Dawn, Resurrecting the Champ, Mr. Bean’s Holiday, Illegal Tender, The Nanny Diaries

Has-been boxers, assassins, thugs, a wacky British guy, and Scarlett Johansson as the nanny of your dreams. This weekend’s movie releases has got something for everyone, so why is the weekend box office still gonna suck? Probably because there’s no major releases this week, with the Jet Li/Jason Statham actioner “War” probably going to take a moderate box office if the kids go out to see it, and from the looks of the trailer — well, I don’t know. The concept, Jet Li versus Jason Statham, is sound enough, as both men are known for their physical skills, but Jet Li hasn’t exactly had much success at the American box office, so we’ll see if their combined star power can make a difference.

The company line:

An infamous assassin, named Rogue, sets off a crime war between rival Asian mobs. An FBI agent is determined to bring down the killer after his partner is murdered.

The trailer:

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I don’t know what to make of this movie. Some of the earlier images I’ve seen of it makes it look like some contemporary “Mary Poppins” remake, but the recent trailers have all been pretty down-to-Earth. It’s got Scarlett Johansson, which isn’t exactly saying much. Scarlett is lovely and talented and everyone seems to agree that she’s the real thing, but audiences haven’t exactly warmed up to her in recent years. Quick, name one Scarlett Johansson hit! Exactly.

The company line:

A college student (Johansson) goes to work as a nanny for a rich New York family. Ensconced in their home, she has to juggle their dysfunction, her studies, a new romance, and the spoiled brat in her charge.

The trailer:

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Samuel L. Jackson plays an ex-boxer turned bum who whispers his way through the movie (I get the feeling someone didn’t give Sam enough direction in the movie) while Josh Harnett plays a writer trying to get the old guy to tell him his life story so he can write about it. Along the way, they become friends and Sam teaches the upstart about life and what-have-you. At least, that’s the general feeling I get from the trailer. Call this one another miss for Harnett and Jackson and director Rod Lurie. Seriously, does this look mildly interesting to ANYONE? To other sports writers, maybe.

The company line:

When a struggling reporter encounters a former boxing champion living on the streets, his journey to uncover the truth becomes an opportunity to reexamine his own life.

The trailer:

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Not even the manufactured “controversy” over the premise of “September Dawn” (a bunch of Mormons kill a whole bunch of people waaaaaaaaaaaaaay back in the olden days) is going to help this one. If your film is about Mormons and the Mormons don’t plan on seeing it, who else is going to? Yeah, exactly. Call this one DOA at the box office despite plenty of news coverage on the cable channels wondering if the film is a thinly veiled attempt to usurp current Presidential candidate Mitt Romney (who is Mormon)’s run for the Presidency.

The company line:

A love story set against the 19th century massacre of a wagon train of settlers in Utah at the hands of a Mormon group.

The trailer:

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“Mr. Bean’s Holiday.” Urgh. If you like this guy you’ll like this movie. If not, then Mr. Bean won’t be your cup of tea.

The company line:

Mr. Bean wins a trip to Cannes where he unwittingly separates a young boy from his father and must help the two come back together. On the way he discovers France, bicycling, and true love, among other things.

The trailer:

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How this direct-to-DVD movie ended up in theaters, much less opening wide, is anybody’s guess.

The company line:

A Latino college student Wilson Jr. and his courageous mother Millie De Leon flee from the thugs that killed his father. After years of uncertainty about the true meaning behind their life on the run, Wilson Jr. and his love, Ana, find themselves in life-threatening danger. Wilson Jr. must return to Puerto Rico to unveil the dark secrets from his family’s past.

The trailer:



About Nix

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Editor/Writer at BeyondHollywood.com. Likes: long walks on the beach and Kevin Costner post-apocalyptic movies. Dislikes: 3D, shaky cam, and shaky cam in 3D. Got a site issue? Wanna submit Movie/TV news? Or to email me in regards to anything on the site, you can do so at nix (at) beyondhollywood.com.

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